A Seminal Review

Permission to speak freely?

Cheers.

I used to read a lot of CD reviews.

It meant heaps to me if my favorite albums got a great review.
But it affected me badly when they got bad reviews. It would force me to look at the albums in a different light... and often I'd stop liking them.
I'm scarred by other people's opinions..

I've since come to realise that a review is a form of art in itself.
Some are brilliant, others are just f*cking lazy.

As a stand alone work, a review should entertain and inform. A good review should:
- not peddle cliches and platitudes.
- come from a neutral position.
- avoid being pretentious. It's just music.
- not just be be positive because of the "internet buzz"
- not just be negative because of an agenda, backlash or preconcieved point of view

as the seminal artists Frank Zappa said:
"writing about music is like dancing about architecture"

There's a long running habit in music reviews to use the word Seminal. Reviewers en masse jumped on the word it and now you can't read a single music publication without coming across the word.

See random examples below picked specially out of thousands i found online:

1. I'd also suggest Justin's Like I Love You was far more seminal a POP moment than Cry Me A River.
2. Rock & Roll Feature: The Sex Pistols' Seminal Album Turns 30
3. The 25th anniversary of a seminal punk album -- The Clash's ''London Calling'' is as groundbreaking, explosive, and politically relevant as ever
4. Seminal albums - free with The Times and The Sunday Times
5. IF Girls Aloud were to have 1 seminal pop song it would have to be Sound of the Underground.
   
6. ^ "the development of IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) is closely entwined with a mailing list established to discuss the work of seminal post-techno producers like Autechre and Aphex Twin; in fact, the name ‘IDM’ originated with the mailing list, but now is routinely applied by reviewers, labels and fans alike."
7. Not fussed by the rest of her material, but I think Crazy In Love has got to be THE seminal pop song of the decade.

Now. I went to a dictionary on behalf of all of us


SEMINAL (adj): pertaining to or containing or consisting of semen.*

So.... reinterpret some of the links above?

1. I'd also suggest Justin's Like I Love You was far more made of man juice than Cry Me A River.
2. Rock & Roll Feature: The Sex Pistols' Sperm filled Album Turns 30
3. The 25th anniversary of a punk album made from jizz-- The Clash's ''London Calling'' is as groundbreaking, explosive, and politically relevant as ever
4. Albums of Sprogg - free with The Times and The Sunday Times
5. IF Girls Aloud were to have 1 pop song consisting of sperm it would have to be Sound of the Underground.
   
6. ^ "the development of IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) is closely entwined with a mailing list established to discuss the work of cum filled post-techno producers like Autechre and Aphex Twin; in fact, the name ‘IDM’ originated with the mailing list, but now is routinely applied by reviewers, labels and fans alike."
7. Not fussed by the rest of her material, but I think Crazy In Love has got to be THE semen loaded pop song of the decade.

OK now for the music...

"If I'm Going To Become a 'Seminal Artist', I'd Better Suck Up To the critics a little more" by the Flying Luttenbachers from the album " The Truth is a f*cking lie"

It ain't easy to listen too. Full on avant garde Jazz...







* I know Seminal it can also mean "containing the seed of things to come" but I just can't really get over the words unfortunate homonymic cousin.