Bon Iver, Pitchshifter and Breathmints

Let's have a lesson in Vocoders and Pitch Shifters....

I was never a fan of a heavily processed voice. As a rule I like it raw. The voice is a beautiful thing. Why wreck it with a machine?

I think Cher's Pitch Shifted song "believe" (click links if you wanna here it, i certainly ain't putting it on my website though) was the first time I became aware of such an effect. And it totally ruined it for me.
That said, I think Cher may have ruined me full stop. Man... I still shudder at this film clip. It destroyed me. (click links if you wanna SEE it, i certainly ain't putting it on my website either)
Freud would have a f*cking field day. The combination of so much, sorry many, semen, sorry seamen... and the phallus to end all phalli. (yes, that plural is too good to be true. "The Dubai skyline just looks like a bunch of phalli". Use it, it's fun.)

Anyway, Radiohead did a cool thing with fitter, happier (beautiful clip) and Tomahawk did an even cooler thing with aktion f1413 (scary song). They both used computers or computer generated vocoder voice manipulation to sound futuristic, cold and detached.. nice

Then Kanye sampled Daft Punk and I lost my shit... It can sound funky too! (forget the fact that Daft Punk did it first. They're a bunch of overrated robots anyway... Seriously.)

You know what they say about Kanye yeah?

If it's cool enough for Kanye, It's cool enough for everybody!

Anyway... Earlier this year I heard this INCREDIBLE song.



The music is by Bon Iver. Who played possibly the best gig I've seen in the last 12 months. And the album was one of the best albums released last year. (ask anyone, they all think the same!) People were in tears around me. Heart wrenching beautiful stuff.

This is a newer song for Bon Iver. Normally he's so stripped back... Just bare emotion ya know? This time it's his layered voice with pitch shifter and reverb. It starts of makin me feel uncomfortable but ends up sounding so lush and rich and beautiful. The orchestra of layered vocals is pretty breathtaking. Bon must have had fun making this.

It's like nothing I've ever heard. What a simple and original way to use the pitch shifter! I'd never seen it before... or again... I'd never liked pitchshifter so much.


until...


this add...






Dammit! Advertising f*cks up everything!

Either Bon Iver isn't hip at all. Or Eclipse are the Freshest! of all Mints... Even more so than Mentos.

A Seminal Review

Permission to speak freely?

Cheers.

I used to read a lot of CD reviews.

It meant heaps to me if my favorite albums got a great review.
But it affected me badly when they got bad reviews. It would force me to look at the albums in a different light... and often I'd stop liking them.
I'm scarred by other people's opinions..

I've since come to realise that a review is a form of art in itself.
Some are brilliant, others are just f*cking lazy.

As a stand alone work, a review should entertain and inform. A good review should:
- not peddle cliches and platitudes.
- come from a neutral position.
- avoid being pretentious. It's just music.
- not just be be positive because of the "internet buzz"
- not just be negative because of an agenda, backlash or preconcieved point of view

as the seminal artists Frank Zappa said:
"writing about music is like dancing about architecture"

There's a long running habit in music reviews to use the word Seminal. Reviewers en masse jumped on the word it and now you can't read a single music publication without coming across the word.

See random examples below picked specially out of thousands i found online:

1. I'd also suggest Justin's Like I Love You was far more seminal a POP moment than Cry Me A River.
2. Rock & Roll Feature: The Sex Pistols' Seminal Album Turns 30
3. The 25th anniversary of a seminal punk album -- The Clash's ''London Calling'' is as groundbreaking, explosive, and politically relevant as ever
4. Seminal albums - free with The Times and The Sunday Times
5. IF Girls Aloud were to have 1 seminal pop song it would have to be Sound of the Underground.
   
6. ^ "the development of IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) is closely entwined with a mailing list established to discuss the work of seminal post-techno producers like Autechre and Aphex Twin; in fact, the name ‘IDM’ originated with the mailing list, but now is routinely applied by reviewers, labels and fans alike."
7. Not fussed by the rest of her material, but I think Crazy In Love has got to be THE seminal pop song of the decade.

Now. I went to a dictionary on behalf of all of us


SEMINAL (adj): pertaining to or containing or consisting of semen.*

So.... reinterpret some of the links above?

1. I'd also suggest Justin's Like I Love You was far more made of man juice than Cry Me A River.
2. Rock & Roll Feature: The Sex Pistols' Sperm filled Album Turns 30
3. The 25th anniversary of a punk album made from jizz-- The Clash's ''London Calling'' is as groundbreaking, explosive, and politically relevant as ever
4. Albums of Sprogg - free with The Times and The Sunday Times
5. IF Girls Aloud were to have 1 pop song consisting of sperm it would have to be Sound of the Underground.
   
6. ^ "the development of IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) is closely entwined with a mailing list established to discuss the work of cum filled post-techno producers like Autechre and Aphex Twin; in fact, the name ‘IDM’ originated with the mailing list, but now is routinely applied by reviewers, labels and fans alike."
7. Not fussed by the rest of her material, but I think Crazy In Love has got to be THE semen loaded pop song of the decade.

OK now for the music...

"If I'm Going To Become a 'Seminal Artist', I'd Better Suck Up To the critics a little more" by the Flying Luttenbachers from the album " The Truth is a f*cking lie"

It ain't easy to listen too. Full on avant garde Jazz...







* I know Seminal it can also mean "containing the seed of things to come" but I just can't really get over the words unfortunate homonymic cousin.

Ain't No Midnight Cowboy

I was invited to The Toff In Town by a boss... (Sweet Venue/Bar with great sound but a slightly pretentious vibe on Swanston Street's most exciting building)
It was late afternoon business meeting.
A bunch of people in my industry were to have an informal Q&A session to talk about an exciting opportunity/venture.

Sounded exciting and intriguing.

John Voight and Dustin Hoffman

The meeting was made up of about a dozen people that were kind of famous (within our industry). All very well respected and highly regarded.
They were people that I admired.

I was introduced to them all. I knew who they were but they didn't know me. I wasn't scared or intimidated, in fact they all made me feel very welcome...
But i felt I was there really just there to take it all in and learn (and look handsome).

We all grabbed a beer/wine/g&t and sat around a table and had a question and answer session. Some pertinent questions were asked...
some pointed answers were made...
it was food for thought.

Remember this meeting was in a bar so it was it was a bit hard to hear (my hearing is crap anyway but the music was just above comfortable conversation level)

I sat and listened with respect, nodding my head and grunting agreeably (and lookin handsome), taking notes until the stereo started blaring a few notches higher in volume... playing an incredible piece of music.

it was loud. awesome. and very distracting.
12/8 time signature. Corny strings, synths, accordian, drums, guitar. Not much subtlety. A bit of an epic vibe. I've loved it for years.




We had to wait until the climax of the song had died down untl we could actually speak again.
Every one at the stopped meeting was like.

"what the f*ck is this song"?

I knew exactly what it was.
In my head I said with enthusiasm

"It's Faith No More's Cover of the theme from Midnight Cowboy! Off their 1992 album Angel Dust (2nd last track, just before their cover of Lionel Ritchie's 'Easy')! Midnight Cowboy was A classic but wildly controversial 1969 movie starring John Voight and Dustin Hoffman! There's thousands of versions of this song around! This one's great!"

I knew all this. I could have told them all how much I knew. I could have risen above my observing roll and taken center stage...

but i didn't.

the moment passed.

I wonder if they would have been impressed with my knowledge of Faith No More and 60's cult westerns? I've wondered this ever since that afternoon at the toff.

Anyway, in the second of two amzing reunion announcements a coupla months ago I found out that Faith No More were reforming!

F*CKIN YEAH WOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO! I'm pretty excited about the prospect of seeing them. I'm going to tackle the issue of mike patton (lead singer extraordinaire who doesn't even appear in the midnight cowboy cover) in a future blog... I imagine it'll be some of my best material.

OK...

ADDED ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN BONUS SONGS!!!!!!!

Henry Mancini's original version of the Midnight Cowboy theme song. Infinately classier than Faith No More's version. Oh yeah...




Harry Nilsson's Classic Song off the Midnight Cowboy soundtrack "EVERYBODY'S TALKIN At ME... i can't here a word they're sayin..."

The Night Terrors:

Last night I was talking to a guy who I hadn't seen in years (he went to my high school but wasn't in my year level, for the sake of this story I'm gonna call him Frank). I never liked Frank. He was exceptionally tall, had blonde hair and was a douchebag.
Just didn't like his attitude or his manner. It always bugged me. So smug, so superior...

For some reason we saw eachother at a party and he started grilling me about my life.

Where do you live?
Got an active social life?
Still Playing music?

What do you do?
How much do you earn?

Do you like Psy-Trance?
Going to see Armin Van Buuren's 6 Hour set at Winter Sound System (ie. some sh*tty rave) at Rod Laver Arena?

My answers to his questions bought about dismissive and condescending reactions... Frank was baiting me. Teasing. He's one of those people that knows exactly what buttons to press. My blood boiled and he kept pushing those buttons.

One thing led to another and I ended up punching him in the face.




Then I woke up...

Strange dream really. But sort of satisfying. hmmm...

If Brendan "dildo" Fevola roosted a drop punt south east from my house it would land on the roof of The East Brunswick Club. An old pub with New Zealand All Blacks posters, wide screen TV on the walls, pub meals and a square box of band room out the back. The PA is top notch however and since the place was reinvented about 6 years ago it hosts amazing bands on a weekly basis.

Working behind the bar there is an extremely tall dude, blonde hair, kind of lanky. He's not Frank but he certainly reminds me of him so I can't help but feel a little bit of distaste creep into my waters when I see him.

It's unfair because he actually seems quite a cool guy when you talk to him.

Then earlier this week I was reading about a band called the The Night Terrors. I recognised the tall East Brunswick Club barmn as the major subject of the article.

Turns out he's one of Australia's foremost Theremin players.

Manipulating Sin waves to make spooky ghost noises isn't a normal man's past-time. But it takes skill.

Image from www.myspace.com/thenightterrors

East Brunswick man is starting look pretty cool now. (that's him in full flight with guitar and theremin above).

So. I checked out his band. (finally I get to the point)

The Night Terrors are great. It's scary, synthy, schlock horror, spooky, cheesy, heavy, clever, well structured, interesting, beautiful and original.
Drums, Bass, Synths and Theremin. No words, no vocals.




There ya go. I ordered their just album from their myspace. I'm lovin it. Can't wait to see them live at the John Curtain hotel in a coupla weeks before they tour Europe later this year.

It's rad to see a band forging their own musical path. Doing their own thing and avoiding hipster influences. Making world class music and doing it locally.

I still hate frank though.

Are You Cool?

A friend of mine told me about a website called "THE COOL HUNTER"
The premise is that you will check out the website in order to be told what's cool... Ironically this friend is quite cool... she doesn't need the cool hunter.

I'm downright skeptical about The Cool Hunter. Isn't it pretty uncool? To be told what's cool? To subscribe to a website that'll tell you what's cool?

I think it's one of the least cool websites i've ever seen. High end cars and baby clothes and buff shirtless dudes from Bondi?

THAT. AINT. COOL.

Pretty much everyone I know doesn't own a Japanese penthouse, a diamond studded new generation mini cooper or a chapel street clothing store with heaps of mirrors and Gainsville furniture. But the people I know are rad...
I hate the cool hunter... don't like it's premise or it's attitude or anything it features as 'cool'.

Photo from Cool Hunter

Apart from these kids actually. I wish I had his flannel. And if I met a girl aged 25 who was wearing her clothes with that cute fringe, i'd probably be quite enamored... (sigh)

Another friend (his name is spike) sent me this link... http://www.myspace.com/threetrappedtigers. Here's the entirety of our skype conversation... it'll give you an insight into the intellect and depth of conversation that we music industry losers enjoy.

Spike @ 4:01 PM
http://www.myspace.com/threetrappedtigers

Me @ 4:02 PM
two can play at this game
http://www.myspace.com/thenightterrors

Spike @ 4:02 PM
haha yeh on EXO records.

Me @ 4:45 PM
threetrappedtigers
fuck yeah!

Spike @ 4:45 PM
oh yeh!

Me @ 4:45 PM
rad. where'dya hear about em?

Spike @ 4:46 PM
blog about them dude. it'll make you look cool.
haha

Me @ 4:46 PM
yeah maybe I will.
i need to look cool

Commentary: This is where we get profound

Spike @ 4:46 PM
being cool isnt cool
not being cool is cool

Me @ 4:47 PM
cool by not being cool is cool unless your trying not to be cool, which isnt cool at all.

Spike @ 4:47 PM
exactly.

So... welcome to Illegetimate Childrens first Cool Blog.

This is possibly the first time as a blogger I can be ahead of the pack. You'll notice that all the stuff I blog about loving is ancient in the blogosphere. I'd be laughed out of town at South By South West or Popkomm. That's where the cool people are one step of the game.

So wanna hear the band we're talking about?

4 - Three Trapped Tigers

Oh my... I just lost my sh*t. That is ummmm... WICKED!

Well worth following the link on that 30 second snippet for a listen to the full track...
It's totally down my alley, instrumental music, piano, drums, bass, post rock, math rock, technical wizardry, groovy, great sounds.
There's even better songs on their myspace so go there... Undeniably Cool. I also just bought the EP...

There ya go. I do need to be told what's cool... thanks spike

Finally... A confession

I own two albums about being cool. Both are critical favorites but you know what? I don't dig em at all. Overrated.

Miles Davis - The Birth Of The Cool (apparently Lisa Simpsons Favorite Album - thanks wiki)
Lupe Fiasco - The Cool (just didn't get into it)

Can you believe I called Miles Davis Overrated? ZING!

Wow, that's actually not cool.

Nels Cline: Jazz Maverick

On Friday, I went to see the Laughing Clowns supported by Nels Cline at The Forum...
I couldn't find anyone else who I thought would like the gig, so I took myself...

It was to be a night of high culture. Part of of The Melbourne Intertanional Jazz Festival.

The plan was:
Finish work, cook me dinner and have a few beers, catch the tram with me into the city and watch Nels Cline (Jazz/Alt-Country Maverick) before seeing the extremely legendary Laughing Clowns (Punk/Freeform Jazz = pretty hard going!) play their first gig in 24 years.

Then hopefully, on an emotional high after the gig I would buy myself some more beers, enjoy my company and engaging sense of humour while get nicely liquored up and take me home, sweet talk myself into bed and then wake up with me in the morning, not feeling a bit guilty, feeling happy, no regrets, like this is the start of something. Then maybe Id cook me breakfast before heading my separate ways for the day, with the promise of doing it again sometime.

So? Who is Nels Cline?
Guitarist from Wilco. The music is rock/country but when he solos. Oh my... Deary me... Beautiful... Listen to this video if you want something that makes you warm inside. It's wilco! it's nels cline at his sensitive best. Jazz tinged flights of free melody and Harmony.

The guitar fireworks start at 2:40

"Impossible Germany" by Wilco from 5ainte on Vimeo.

Anyway, I was expecting a version of that. I had visions of it Nels CLine leadinga jazz trio with some beautifully structured guitar solos. Perfect for a romantic night with me.

Imagine my suprise when i saw 45 minutes of this...

Nels Cline + Devin Sarno - the wulf from ZF FILMS on Vimeo

Clearly I didn't do my homework..

17 Minutes? couldn't last through the video? Don't worry. It's just white noise, a pedal note, some interesting textures, loop stations and pedals.

(side note: vimeo shits on youtube don't it! Great qualty, so easy to use)

It's hard work but not beyond redemption. I think the beauty of this music is that you can listen intently for so long without hearing anything resembling a melody or harmony, just slowly evolving noise waves until you're sick of it. and then... a chord... 1 simple chord... or 1 fragment of melody and all the tension of the past 10 minutes is released, the heavens open and relief floods your brain and senses.

kind of like going for a wee after busting for ages.

It takes patience and skill to play 'music' like that.

I'm not sure about people who really love this music and listen to it at gigs, nodding their head knowlingly the whole time. (I like it sometimes, but i do have genuine concerns that if I dig it too much my head my get lost somewhere up my anus).

It's Natural To Be Afraid: at Merri Creek

In the wee hours of the morning, last night. I was traveling on foot between a partay in Northcote and my joint in Brunswick

It was late and I was underdressed (flannel with t-shirt underneath, in case you were wondering) and it was freezing (6 degees, i looked at the temperature clock on the corner of Lygon and Blyth, in case you were wondering)...

I started jogging... (it was cold and it would have taken me about an hour to walk, i wanted some peppermint tea... STAT)

I'd prepared well for the journey home coz I bought my ipod with me...

So I was listening to this beautiful music...
There wasn't another person the street... Dew was on the ground, stars above, i was drunk and happy

I 'had a moment'

when I crossed the bridge over Merri Creek...

as this song hit a crescendo... layer and layer of guitars crashing, chaotic drums... and a silent pitch black water flowing below. Very beautiful... (Sigh)

It was a perfect soundtrack moment, the cinemetography of what I was seeing with the soundtrack provided by mass marketed hardware, digital files and a post rock band from texas.

a creek, but not merri

I often wish the people who write these music were able to see what I saw as I as listening to them. I'm pretty sure Explosions In The Sky write their music with exactly these moments in mind.

And good on em too! I think they tread a fine line between homage, influence and wholesale piracy of Mogwai but as far as slow-burning-no-words-post-rock for people-like-me-who-like-to-get-emotional-without-having-to-concentrate-on-lyrics goes. They're pretty great! Props to Explosions In The Sky...

This song is long... 13 minutes, sit through it if you have the patience... relax, chek your emails...

The other thing is that in 2005, Explosions In The Sky, spent 8 days writing recording one song from scratch a day. They released it as free EP called "The Rescue". You can download it legally by CLICKIN HERE